You’ll spoil the baby

Actually, you won’t.

But this is the constant noise I heard coming out of my mother’s mouth whenever I picked up Baby B because she was crying.

No matter how many times I explained that my 3 week old baby did not have the emotional maturity to manipulate me the phrase ‘you’ll spoil her and she won’t ever want to be put down’ kept being repeated. Being newly post partum I cannot describe how strong the wave of annoyance was that went through me each time. I don’t know whether it was hormones exaggerating my emotions, or whether my new found protective instincts were responsible for making me want to throw a heavy object at my mother every time she said it.

If I want to spoil my baby by showing her love and security when she is trying to communicate her needs to me then that’s exactly what I’ll do.

I know this is quite a common mindset in my parents’ generation and many other mothers in my age bracket get the same verbatim on a regular basis. My advice would be to ignore it, you cannot spoil a baby that young. They cry because they need you, there is nothing simpler than that. Whether it be they need something from you like food, or their nappy changed, the fact remains that they are crying because they need you. By responding to this every time you are actually reassuring them that they are safe and that their needs will be attended to. So keep doing it ladies, and feel good about it too!

You don’t see teenagers wanting to be picked up and cuddled do you so obviously they grow out of this stage at some point!

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