With labour quickly approaching last August it became quite apparent to me that there were some expectations that were definitely not going to be met.
Primarily – My mother in law wanted to be notified that I had gone into labour so she could rush up to the hospital to support us.
No way. Don’t think so. You could not have paid me enough.
I made it crystal clear to my husband that neither my family or his was to be told when I went into labour as we had no idea how long it was going to take. Incidentally it only took 5 1/2 hours from the first contraction to Baby B’s appearance but it could easily have taken over 24 hours. He stood by my wishes and we just notified everyone once she was born. We did try to warn everyone we would be doing this so any that got offended, well, that was their problem.
It astounds me how common an issue this is for women though. And it is not only mothers in law but mothers as well trying to force their way into delivery rooms uninvited. I can only describe it using the term ‘baby rabies’ which I picked up from one of my favourite forums. Anybody who invites themselves into a delivery room has no regard for the mother to be or what she may need at that point, they are singly hoping to get baby snuggles and photos asap.
Don’t be afraid to say no.
Labour is not a spectator sport.
Your HooHa is going to be out on display with medical professionals having a good stare down there already, do you want someone (regardless of who they are) that you’re not wholly comfortable with joining the party?
Another point to remember is that if you’re not as comfortable as possible then you could get stressed. And if you get stressed then your labour could stall, meaning intervention to help you deliver the baby.
The entirety of the birth experience is about you. At this point you are even welcome to ignore your partners wishes on the matter, after all, he isn’t the one firing a watermelon out of his body. I made sure that my husband was fully on board with my wishes before I went into labour so that we had no issues, this involved several long chats (he was probably sick of me talking by this point) to reconfirm everything from pain relief to intervention methods to visitors afterwards.
Be honest about what you want because you this birth will only happen once.