This one is going to be both a bit of a funny one, sarcastic, and a bit of a vent – you have been warned!
When you are pregnant you find that everyone has an opinion on everything, and none more so than your parents/ in laws. And for some reason these opinions and ‘advice’ are frequently offered unsolicited along with the phrase of ‘well I did this and mine were fine’. You wouldn’t tell people how they should wipe their arse would you? So why do people think they can tell you how to raise your children?
Here’s a few of my favourite annoyances which I’ve had along the way from our families. There’s quite a few so grab a cuppa and settle in haha
- ‘I didn’t know you were trying’ – Oddly enough I don’t find it necessary to share the details of my sex life with you. I will of course bear in mind that in future you would like to know how often your son is getting laid, I’ll even share the positions if you like?
- ‘Oh it’ll pass by 12 weeks’ – This was in reference to my morning sickness, which by the way continued right until week 20.
- ‘You might not be able to breastfeed, you better get some formula’ – This was my mother, who didn’t breastfeed any of her 5 children and has some very antiquated views on it. While it did end up being true it didn’t help that she was there basically rubbing it in my face.
- ‘You should just give her some formula, she’ll sleep longer at night’ – Again, my mother. It was utter bullshit by the way, some days Baby B would have formula at bedtime instead of breastmilk and it literally made no difference to how she would sleep.
- ‘And how’s my baby?’ – My dad. In reference to Baby B. I promptly pointed out that I was fine, thanks for asking. When the issue was pushed I called him out on it and said that I didn’t remember tumbling around the bedroom with him creating her. Utterly gross but 100% effective!
- ‘Oh she’ll go for longer once she gets to 6 weeks’ – Mother in law in reference to sleep. Ironically she breastfed so she should know that babies don’t necessarily live on a schedule. She still maintains she went for longer from 6 weeks even though I repeatedly correct her that it was from 12 weeks.
- ‘Maybe she just needs something a little more to help her sleep’ – My mother was suggesting I crush up a rusk biscuit (hideous things anyway) and add this to my 2 month old’s bottle. No, no and NO. I’ve made my feelings about early weaning perfectly clear.
- ‘It never did you lot/my two any harm’ – Both sets of parents are horrendously guilty of this one. When we say we are or are not doing something (usually because they have asked) it becomes a game of ‘well I did this and…’, almost like they feel they need to defend their parenting choices. There is a complete lack of understanding that guidelines have changed entirely since 25+ years go (and for good reason most of the time), or that things have simply moved forward and modernised.
- ‘I just let my two have whatever they want but they were never spoilt’ – Mother in law. So recently I have begun teaching Baby B the value of the word no. I get that she won’t understand what it means yet but she can begin to learn the word goes with a certain tone etc and that she’s stopped from whatever it is she is doing. Apparently this was mean of me and she can do whatever she likes – I think not. I stated that she would be told no quite often in life and that she won’t be getting everything just because she wants it and was met with the above statement. Now, although I love my husband he is the most spoilt brat I know when things don’t go his way. He has full on tantrums and can sulk for a whole day about something trivial. His brother? Refuses to move out at 30yrs old because he wouldn’t have mummy there to do everything for him. But no, of course they’re not spoilt.
- ‘Oh she’s teething’ – Both sets of parents on this one. They literally attribute everything to the fact that Baby B has been teething for the last 3 months. Grumpy baby? Teething. Not sleeping? Teething. Physically pushing away from someone? Teething. Not eating? Teething. Too much poo? Teething. Too little poo? Teething. It is like there is no possibility of there being anything else at play, it’s all the teething!